Laugh It Off

So yesterday was a particularly interesting day. And when I say interesting, I mean less than wonderful. Many of my classmates and friends have been out with the infamous Swine Flu, and I was starting to feel some of the symptoms myself. I had a test I needed to take, two assignments I needed to finish (one of which by 5 p.m.), and I had no time to do any of it because I needed to go to work. On top of it, my mind was fried from the previous couple of days and I had no desire or energy to do any of it. I was having, what I like to call, a classic stress moment.

I’m not trying to complain, here. I’m in grad school juggling work, an acting gig on the side, an extra dance class, and a fiancé who lives an hour away…what else am I supposed to expect? Of course I’m going to have a packed schedule and be stressed! My point is that yesterday, the walls seemed to be caving in…not the best day.

So what happened next only made it worse. I went to the testing center and took the test. After handing it in, I was walking down the stairs when I tripped. Luckily, I only fell down about two or three steps and caught myself with my left foot. However, my right ankle twisted in ways unnatural to the human body and I crumpled to the floor, complete with backpack on, dropping my phone and dance shoes. I was groaning in pain when two guys coming down the stairs behind me came to my rescue and tried to pull me up, but I didn’t have the voice to tell them that my ankle felt like it had been sawed off with a blunt spoon.

I managed to tell them what was wrong, but of course I couldn’t just get back up in a hurry without anyone noticing. Much to my self-conscious horror, I looked up and saw at least seven or eight people gathered on the stairs staring at my pathetic body lying on the floor and my teary face. Great. How embarrassing.

Once everyone but the two guys helping me left me to my shame, I put my game face on, played the “independent-I-can-handle-myself-tough-girl”, and got back up. I slowly applied pressure to my right ankle, declared it merely sprained, and was soon enough on the road again, limping all the way across campus to my car.

Now, I’m not usually one to tell specific personal experiences, so what’s my point to this long and ridiculous story? Well, when I was walking across campus with hints of tears still running down my face, I started laughing...hysterically.

I mean, picture it, here’s this girl who’s having a pretty awful day and to make matters worse, she trips down the stairs and sprains her ankle. How ironic! And what a funny thing to picture! Who trips down the stairs, anyway? And to think of what I must have looked like lying on the floor…and the gaggle of people gawking at me…classic. I have to be honest with myself—it was funny.

What I’m trying to say is that even when situations get pretty bleak and discouraging, we’re still in control of our attitude, and as the saying goes, “Attitude is everything.” So the next time something less than fortunate happens to you, ignore your inclination to groan and complain. Laugh. Laugh it off.

I wouldn’t necessarily say that my day yesterday was a bad day. Less than desirable? Absolutely. But not bad. You just have to look at it the right way. First of all, I’m ok. My ankle’s just sprained. And secondly, now I have a funny story to journal about. And what’s life without a few laughs?

Sometimes, You Just Have To Jump

I’ve talked a lot about choices and how life is full of them. Well, this is no different.

Life. It’s full of choices.

But one of the things I’ve learned recently is that sometimes you have to step a little out into the dark before the light comes. What I mean by that is sometimes we have to choose without the complete assurance that we’re making the right decision.

I think of Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade when Harrison Ford reaches the “leap of faith.” He has to step out off of a ledge, and it’s only after that he sees the platform. The same thing happens for some of the decisions in our lives, and usually the most important ones (which can be very frustrating).

So why is that? Well, in my opinion (and as I’ve alluded to in past entries) it’s not so much about whether we’re making the right decision, but that we’re making a right decision—we have to be proactive about the path our life is taking. If our fates were predetermined, then sure…we’d have to search for that one right decision. But a choice isn't about searching, it's about doing. We have been blessed with the gift of personal agency and thereby have become the masters of our own destinies. We make the decisions. We travel the paths. We create our own lives.

That’s not to say that we can’t have help or that we aren’t influenced by outside sources. But regardless, we’re here to choose and we have the ability to do it. What a wonderful thing!

But how terrifying, right? That lack of assurance when making a decision can paralyze us with fear (it does me, anyway). It would just be so nice and easy if the consequences of each decision was illuminated before us. However, that’s not how it works. It’s times like these when faith really needs to be applied. Faith in others. Faith in ourselves. Faith in God.

It’s now my opinion that sometimes, you just have to jump. Jump, and have faith that you’ll be able to handle the consequences that follow. Obviously, work out as much as you can—see as far into the darkness as your perspective will allow. But once you’ve done all you can do, don’t hold yourself back from progression with unnecessary fear. Instead, see the jump as an adventure and know that it’s usually you who turns a decision into the right one.