Tuesday, June 30, 2009

The Great Man

What makes a “great” man? Quite similar to my previous topics, but a slightly different question.

For me, I hope and pray that who we are is measured less by how much we stay on the horse, and more by how hard we try to pick ourselves back up when we fall off the horse. Everyone messes up. We all fail sometimes. That’s a given. We weren’t sent to this earth to fail, but to learn, and we learn by falling down and scraping our knees.

I was thinking about this extensively at work yesterday…just the idea of what makes a “great” man. I’ve heard a lot of different definitions from people, and though I can appreciate and understand most of them, I found my explanation and view to be much more simple. What makes a “great” person is the effort he or she puts into life. We all come from different backgrounds and have different experiences, so no one can really be measured on the same plane…we’re different. And we’re supposed to be different. It’s not about how much better I am than my neighbor, but rather how much better I can become than the person I am today.

This is all a bit scatter-brained, I know. But my point is that often we attribute our worth to things that are, in the end, not fairly measured because we’re comparing ourselves to other people. In my opinion, our worth and beauty as a person comes from the effort we put into making our own personal lives more meaningful. The drive we have to face challenges with a positive attitude. The determination we have when we’re at our lowest to get back on our feet and to keep going, no matter how painful or impossible the road. The faith we have that if we do all that we can do, the Lord will make up the rest. The gratitude we have for all of our experiences in life. The ability we have to learn from each fall we take and each scrape we get so that we can turn around and help others through their own journeys in life.

That’s what makes a great man. It doesn’t matter if he’s the 50-year-old CEO of some large corporation or the teen-age retail worker at the local Walmart. We all have the opportunity to show our true colors and we all have the potential. It’s just up to us to choose what happens when we fall off the horse.

Sunday, June 14, 2009

Time Wasted Judging

Branching off of my previous theme of courage, I’d like to touch on the 2009 Young Women address by President Thomas S. Monson entitled “May You Have Courage” where, to support his first point of having the courage to refrain from judging others, he quotes Mother Teresa, “If you judge people, you have no time to love them.

I was quite taken by this quote, as simple as it is, and find it to be a truthful statement. It’s a concept of time—if we spend our time judging or thinking negatively of others, than we lose time when we could be thinking positively and uplifting others. I don’t believe we can do both at the same time.

And this is assuming that “judging” is purely a negative thing. Using your judgment is useful and essential in life when used appropriately, however, I use the word judgment here to mean gossip and criticism.

Doctrine and Covenants 88:123
reads, “See that ye love one another; cease to be covetous; learn to impart one to another as the gospel requires.” Well said. To love your neighbor as yourself is the second of God’s great commandments.

And of course, no one’s perfect. The natural man and worldly competition harbor the tendency to look on others with a critical eye; in most cases, passing judgment is a selfish tactic of raising ourselves above another. But forgetting our pride and understanding that everyone is different and that we never know the “entire story” of one’s situation, experiences, etc. can help us to refrain from making judgments that are almost always unjustified.

Elder Wirthlin said, “We see ourselves in terms of yesterday and today. Our Heavenly Father sees us in terms of forever” (“The Great Commandment”). If we spend less of our time criticizing others and more time looking for the positive, we will begin to see them as our Father in Heaven does. We’re not perfect, and neither are our fellow men. Who are we to judge who is better than another when God loves all of his children?

Thursday, June 11, 2009

Courage To Be Who You Are

Recently, I’ve noticed a change in myself that has been occurring gradually over the past year or so—a detachment from the person I feel I really am. I have these moments when I look back on my past and smile with gratitude for all the experiences—good and bad—that have brought me to this point, but no longer connect with the person I used to be. And while we grow each and every day, I believe there are certain parts of us that should only change if we want them to—things about our personalities; the things that make us smile or motivate us to live a more fulfilling life. To me, we use our past and all the lessons learned to inspire our future. But I’ve been so blind lately, caught up in a million different things and forgetting about who I am and where I come from. I love new experiences. Change. Adventures. Spontaneity. I revel in the beauty of an artistic expression and take joy in the simplest of things: an act of service. The sun rising above the peak of the mountain. A crazy hair style. Someone singing at the top of their lungs to the car radio.

But, instead of taking pleasure in all the tiny things that really make me me, I’ve selfishly worried about how everyone else sees me and have thus tailored myself to a life of constant self-improvement. And in the mix of it all, I’ve tried so hard to change myself for the better that I’ve let go of what I believe truly makes me beautiful. The specifics are too abstract to describe, but they are tied heavily to my earthly and heavenly origins. Again, our past helps to build our future, and I have quite forgotten about where it is that I come from. Along with that, I feel as if I have spent so much time thinking about what’s “wrong” with who I am that I have lost confidence in all that is “good”. Courage, as a result, has been a prevalent theme for me the last little while.

In my studying a couple of days ago, I read an article by Robert D. Hales entitled, “Christian Courage: The Price of Discipleship.” In it, he talks about how members of the church should have courage to respond to accusations and criticism appropriately. While this article is well worth reading, I take only a part from it. Elder Hales speaks of having the courage to be a disciple of Christ, and I extend that to having the courage to be who you are in general.

Being your true self is scary enough; the judgment of others stands as one of vulnerability’s worst enemies. I often find myself nervous that who I am wont be accepted and, as a result, I’ll be torn down, left alone with my face stuck in the mud. But, for every minute we spend worrying about how others perceive us, we lose a precious minute of our short lives that could easily be better enjoyed. Live it up! Enjoy your life and learn to appreciate yourself for who you are. And again, remember where you come from. For me, that means understanding the liberal mindset of Maine, the emotional-based personalities of my family, and, most importantly, my claim as a daughter of God.

Elder Hales makes a wonderful connection between courage and a Book of Mormon experience:

In the Book of Mormon, we read about Lehonti and his men camped upon a mount. The traitorous Amalickiah urged Lehonti to “come down” and meet him in the valley. But when Lehonti left the high ground, he was poisoned “by degrees” until he died, and his army fell into Amalickiah’s hands (see Alma 47)…The high ground is where the light is. It’s where we see the first light of morning and the last light in the evening. It is the safe ground. It is true and where knowledge is. Sometimes others want us to come down off the high ground and join them in a theological scrum in the mud...We are always better staying on the higher ground…


Taken a little differently than how Elder Hales intends it, I see here a hill whereupon one can see the “first light of the morning and the last light in the evening.” When we make the most of our lives and live up to our potential, understanding ourselves and where we come from, we have such a better and clearer view of everything around us. Obstacles don’t seem so ominous and we are inclined more toward optimism because we can better see the beauty of life. Yet, certain experiences and influences draw us down from our “safe spot.” Media, stereotypes, and even other people and ourselves can convince us that we’re worth less than we really are or that who we are isn’t who we should be.

And for me, understanding who I really am is inseparably connected to my relationship with God. If I begin to loose the light of Christ through neglect, sin, and/or laziness, I find myself unhappy and disconnected from the one thing that will always remain constant in my life. The more I give attention to my divine nature, the more I feel I understand myself. I make the comparison of losing sight of who I am and digressing spiritually to a light that is slowly dimming. We do not fully comprehend how much the light is changing until either the light turns completely off or is suddenly turned back to its full capacity. The change is so subtle that we do not always realize it’s there.

As I’m sure you’ll hear me say over and over again, life is full of choices, and at this point, I can only point out how having courage is a choice that we consciously make. We must have the courage to be who we are. We must have the courage to learn to understand ourselves, every part. We must have the courage to stay on our hilltop. President Dieter F. Uchtdorf in “We Are Doing a Great Work and Cannot Come Down,” talks about keeping our focus on the things that matter most. In it, he instructs us, each time we are tempted to fall away, to proudly proclaim, “I am doing a great work and cannot come down.” I connect this to Elder Hale’s analogy of the high ground.

So what’s my point? Well, I’ve forgotten who I am and I’m trying to find out again. Not an easy task, that’s for sure. And it’s not something that happens overnight. I share this with you because…well…everyone has their ups and downs and perhaps my thoughts can mean something to you.

With this, I share my testimony that as we take the time to remember where we come from and have the courage to be who we are, we can find comfort as we feel more connected to ourselves and our Heavenly Father. Being true and honest with ourselves is a key step to finding happiness. God loves us and understands everything that we are. Part of our purpose here on earth is to come to that understanding ourselves.

Tuesday, June 9, 2009

Here I Go: Blog Introduction

I’ve learned throughout the course of my short 22-years that life is full of lessons, big and small. In my opinion, we’re all learning the same lessons, just at different times and in different ways. So, after a lot of thinking and a lot of fighting with myself, I’m finally joining the rest of the 21st century and starting a blog.



Now, I’d like to preface by saying that I do not claim to be a fantastic writer. In fact, I find myself to be a poor writer indeed and hope that anyone who reads my thoughts will overlook my weaknesses. What I find more important is looking past my self-consciousness and communicating my general ideas. See, I’m an avid journal writer—I don’t miss a day—but I’ve always been private about my writing, which makes starting this blog both easy and difficult. Easy because I’m accustomed to letting my thoughts bleed out on a page and difficult because I’m afraid I’ll let out too much. But I suppose my purpose in writing to begin with, both in my personal journal and now for this blog, is to realize and share the lessons I’m learning as I face the many experiences of my life.



In Doctrine and Covenants 88:77-79, it reads, “And I give unto you a commandment that you shall teach one another the doctrine of the kingdom. Teach ye diligently and my grace shall attend you, that you may be instructed more perfectly…in all things that pertain unto the kingdom of God, that are expedient for you to understand; Of things both in heaven and in the earth…” By quoting this, I in no way am trying to present myself as some grand and omniscient teacher, but rather to show the communal responsibility we share—we’re all in this together; we’re here to learn and we learn best as a group, lifting each other up by sharing our experiences.



Life is hard, but it’s beautiful. We just have to have the right perspective and attitude. Take each experience in life—the good and the bad—and see it for its benefits. (“What can I learn from this?”) And most assuredly, if I can learn something from the experiences in my life, then so can someone else. Learn from other people’s mistakes, right? So, whatever it’s worth, I share with you my two cents—a mix of religious and secular experiences, thoughts, realizations, what-have-you. My hope is that you will read what I have to say and be able to apply it to yourself in whatever way possible.