The Joy of Choosing

I’ve realized more and more lately just how much our lives are composed of decisions—one after the other. Cereal or yogurt? Jeans or shorts? Blue or green shirt? Drive or walk? Hair up or down?

And then, of course, there are the more complicated choices that drive us absolutely mad, and it gets to the point where if you don’t make a decision fast, you’ll just get more and more confused. Sometimes you get so confused that you act impulsively hoping to escape the fog and to find clarity. Not that you don’t have reason to act the way you did, but you made the decision without really figuring out if it’s what you really wanted. Then the hard part comes a day or two later when things start setting in, including doubt, and you spend half of your time torturing yourself over whether or not your decision was right or wrong.

See, for the most part, there is no right or wrong. As one of my favorite high school teachers Miss Tripp once said, “Change is neither good nor bad sometimes. It is just different.” I know a lot of people who sit there waiting for someone else to tell them what to do, including God. Well, first of all, God expects us to make our own decisions; we choose our own path and He’ll make sure we don’t get too far off the straight and narrow. So in life, when we’re faced with a difficult choice, it’s not that there is a particular right or wrong, black or white. No. Instead, we have a myriad of colors displayed before us and we just have to pick which one we want to deal with.

My personal problem (as I’m sure it’s the same for most people) is understanding what it is that I really want, and then finding satisfaction in the decision I’ve made. This is a quote from an email I sent to my DKVs (three of my high school friends), “And oh how I'm bitter! Bitter and angry. Not with anyone in particular, just at the situation in general and myself for not being able to be happy with the decision that I made. Why can't feelings just be so clean-cut and clear!?!?"

I’ve always compared life to being at a train station. Imagine yourself on a platform and you have plenty of different trains to choose from. For the most part, it doesn’t matter which train you choose to take because most of them are going to the same place…it’s just about how you’re going to get there. How many stops? How many train changes? It’s like goal setting. The journey is a long one, so you have to break it up into different parts. Everyone chooses a path that suits their needs (the fastest route, the scenic route, etc.). So you set a goal and you work to reach it. Once you’re there, it’s time to set a different goal, or to choose a different train.

So you choose a train to your liking. Maybe it’s a really comfortable train. Maybe you like the people on it. Maybe it’s the fastest one. Who knows, who cares, it’s different for everyone. Well, the train makes its first stop and you find yourself with a decision to make. Do I stay on this train or do I find another one?

You decide to change trains, so you make your way to the platform and start looking around at your options. Perhaps you spend a significant amount of time at the station. Perhaps you find a new train right away. That’s up to you.

And after doing this time and time again, you might find that one time, you got on the wrong train and have to backtrack. Or maybe you were lucky and got on a train with more benefits than others. Whatever happens, each train you take gives you new experiences to learn from and, hopefully, brings you closer to your destination.

The analogy can go on and on, and you can take it whichever way you like. But all in all, we’re here on this earth to learn for ourselves by making countless decisions day after day. We just have to realize that our lives are not controlled by some predetermined Fate, but overseen by a loving Heavenly Father who has blessed us with our own agency and who wants us to choose for ourselves. And if we keep our hearts open to Him, He will never let us go astray. We ask for His help (as we daily should do!), but it is up to us to make the initial action!